The Real Reason Your New Year’s Resolutions Fail (And the One Simple Switch to Fix It): Grit
Every January, it’s the same story. A new year, a new dawn, and a rush of excitement for the future. This is the year I’m finally going to start my side hustle and quit my job. This is the year I’m going to get in shape and run a marathon. We can almost feel our lives being transformed.
But by the time February rolls around, like 99% of the population, we’ve given up.
And I know I’m not alone. Most people reading this have done this too.
When I was a teenager, I announced to my economics teacher that I would be a millionaire by the time I was 28. He just smiled. Well, 28 has come and gone, and I’m happy to say I did achieve that dream. But it almost didn’t happen. For years, I was stuck in the same cycle of hope and failure. The reason I finally broke free wasn’t because I found more willpower or talent. It’s because I learned the one trait that truly matters.
It’s Not Talent, It’s Grit
In my early 20s, I was trapped in a tedious job with a horrible boss. I knew this wasn’t what I wanted, so I resolved to start a side hustle, turn it into a main hustle, and quit my job for good.
On my first day back at work, I set my alarm for 6:00 A.M. I woke up and worked on my side hustle. Then, I went to my day job. After that, I came home to keep working on it. For that first week, I stayed strong. But the next week, things started to slip. The alarm rang, and I thought, I’m tired. There’s no point in working when I’m exhausted. So, I hit the snooze button. After a long commute home, I’d turn on my laptop and think, I deserve a break, and I chose to watch YouTube instead. Within a month, I was back to square one.
Here’s the thing: that January, I did fail. But eventually, I did succeed. The reason is that I developed one thing: grit. The Cambridge Dictionary defines grit as “courage and determination despite difficulty.” Because I lacked grit, I didn’t have the mental toughness to push through when I was tired or bored.
This is why most of us fail. It isn’t because our goals are unattainable; it’s that we lack this essential trait. Research shows that the USA National Spelling Bee isn’t always won by the brightest spellers. Instead, it’s those who have the most grit and practice consistently.
Your Big Goals Are a psychological trap.
Counter-intuitively, my huge, all-or-nothing goal was part of the problem. When we set a goal, science shows our brain gets emotionally involved. It feels like we’ve already achieved it. This feels great at first, but there’s a dangerous flip side.
When we miss that big goal, it triggers strong emotions. It feels like losing something we truly value. This leads to a cascade of negative feelings: fear, anxiety, and anguish. When we set a big goal and fail, we don’t just start over. We also damage our most important asset for success: hope.
Faithful hope is faith in your own effort.
This erosion of hope is what stops most of us. But what happens when you face failure on a global scale and refuse to let that hope die? Look no further than Steve Jobs.
In 1980, he launched the Apple III computer. It was a disaster. Due to major design flaws, the laptop would heat up, buzz loudly, and crash. Jobs would later say, “Apple lost infinite, incalculable amounts of money on the Apple III.” A few years later, he was ousted from his own company—the ultimate act of failure. For most people, this would have been the end. But not for Jobs. He said of the experience:
“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”
That’s what real hope is. It’s not wishing for luck. True, grit-fueled hope is the faith that if you get up and try again, you will learn a little bit more each time. It’s the unwavering belief that success comes from your own efforts. This belief is the top reason high achievers stand out, even more than intelligence.
Build momentum with small, achievable wins.
So, what is the one simple switch? See, I made a mistake. Build momentum with small wins instead of seeking a big change overnight.
Instead of saying, “I’ll get up two hours earlier,” I should have said, “I’ll set my alarm for 30 minutes earlier.” This small change is much easier to manage. Once I’m consistent with that, I can push it to 45 minutes, and then to 60.
This approach works because it rebuilds the very hope that significant failures destroy. Each small victory proves to you that success isn’t a matter of luck; it’s a direct result of your own actions. As you reach these small goals, your hope increases. This helps you build the grit needed to face bigger challenges on your way to your ultimate dream.
Your Journey Starts with a Single Step
The path to achieving your biggest dreams isn’t a frantic sprint to the finish line. It’s a series of small, deliberate steps, each one building upon the last. True transformation doesn’t happen with one big effort. It comes from the steady will to show up each day and take small steps forward.
What small goal will you set for yourself tomorrow? This can help you build unstoppable momentum.
